My marriage is coming soon. Counting the blessing days are almost near. It is around 6 months.
How my marriage does would be? Happy ending or vice versa (this negative thinking should be rid off from my mind)?
I have always asked my fiancée even before he is officially my fiancée, why should I marry? I have no points to see that marriage is a good thing for long relationship. Couples are always fights, misunderstanding this and that, beaten up, and affair with someone else. There are too many things to lists out here.
So, I said to him, “Why do I need marriage in my life? Every one doesn’t show me a best ever marriage is?”
His answer is simple yet it really annoyed me! “That answer is in you”
After the conversation ends, day after day, month after month no clue what I’m doing. My environment do not support me to get answer, my environment show me marriage is worse thing ever, perhaps!
I accepted him to be my future zauj (husband) and I still wonder why. I am really weird person ever. Accept people but the heart feels I am doing right thing as he so far a good person and my minds wondering so many thinks, keep thinking what if? Fuh….
Til this day, I ask Allah (God) guides me this way and give the answer that I am searching, looking for long times already and almost give up when something went wrong to my relationship between him before marriage.
I was listening to motivational recording from Prof Muhaya, really motivated me while doing my office works. The points are good for me to calm down myself. May be this is what I really want in my life without doubt.
1. Redha (acceptance) from Allah
Assalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
“Ridha” is derived from radhiya yardha meaning accept something sincerely without feeling frustrated or depressed. Related to Iman, ridha is devided into two kinds, Ridha of Allah to His servants, and ridha of His servant to Him. As Allah hinted in His firman ” …. Allah being pleased (ridha) with them and they with Him …” (Qur’an 98:8)
However, ridha doesn’t means accept anything without motivation to change the fate or get something better. Someone who ridha with what Allah has given to him still must have motivation to get something better.
Ridha is being pleased with taqdeer that Allah has written to us, but not being pleased with naseeb that happen to us. If we get sick we should not ask ‘O, Allah, why you give me an illness?”, but also we should not being pleased with the illness and thinking “I ridha with this illness and I will not cure myself”.
By the way, there is a story related to ridha. One day Umar bin Khattab was walking when suddenly the rain fell. Umar immediately ran for shelter. Someone saw it and asked him “O, Umar, why do you run away from Allah destiny?”. Umar replied “I run away from one Allah destiny to the another His destiny”.
2. Hope to get a good children
Life is test. Whenever I choose marry or not, I will be tested by Allah in other forms, why should I afraid about marriage. Try to be the best one to seek Allah’s pleasure. If you do something for people to get attention, you are the who easily get hurts.
If I want plan to aim heaven (jannah), I should aim high. Teaching child to be the best human beings is the dreams to every parents.
3. Away from fitnah (slanders)
If I marry, my husband is the one who responsible to protect me from bad men outside there. If I remain single, my friend would be afraid to close with me and claim that I want to take their husband ( through someone’s experience)
4. Life is too short
I am not gonna be alone when reach 40. I have someone to talk, share my ups and downs.
A lesson learnt I realized was you wont get everything perfect, perfect husband and children and free problem.
if you got a big problem in relationship with husband and marriage doesn’t seem so good, we need to realize that Allah gives you children to enjoy your life. You got children to be loved. Everything happens for a reason. Just close the eyes ( before die) with calm heart to meet with Allah.
Add more in my comment so I can enjoyable with this short life.